Throughout my life I’ve searched for a way to gain freedom in my relationship to food, only I didn’t know that that is what I was looking for. I tried and tried to lose excess weight – which almost always went well for about ten hours. Every Monday I starved myself until around 3:00 PM and couldn’t take it anymore. I lost all control. I ate everything that I could find until I felt sick, sad and ashamed. Eventually my weight grew to 100 pounds overweight. I didn’t realize how tired I was. I didn’t realize that I looked overweight. Though, inside, in the places that carry shame and darkness I knew everything. I knew that my weight was a problem and was covering up and hindering who I wanted to be.